Finding the Balance

These days, moms are constantly being pulled in a million directions, and it can be hard to strike the right balance.  You may be struggling to find balance between:

• work and personal life
• things you WANT to do and things you feel you SHOULD do
• time for others and time for yourself

If you’re like me, you may get to the end of a day that was jam-packed, but be left feeling unsatisfied.  Follow these tips to ensure you’re making the best use of your time and to restore better balance to your life!

Tips for Striking the Balance

1. Watch out for all-or-none thinking!

That means you don’t have to exercise EVERY day, or cook a healthy dinner for your family EVERY night.  The problem with all-or-none thinking is that it is not realistic, and women who think this way may end up doing nothing at all.  For example:

• “If I can’t exercise every day, I won’t do it at all.”
• “I don’t have time to cook dinner on weekdays.”

Better to set a realistic goal of 2-3 times per week.  Even once per week is more than none!

2. Figure out what really matters to you.

First identify your core values, the things that are truly important to you.  These may include:

• Children
• Spouse
• Career
• Religion
• Community service
• Health

Women really vary in the extent to which they value these things, so your list of core values needs to be personal and specific to you.  Accept who you are.  For example, if religion has never been an important part of your life, that’s ok.  Trying to make it one now will feel forced and unsuccessful.

3. Use a pie chart to look at how you spend your time.

Think of your time on a pie chart.  Here is an example of how mine would look.  Now what happens when you add something new into your life?  That time is going to have to come out of another section.  When you have a new baby, you lose A LOT of time from the sleep/free time/watching TV section!  If you take on a new project at work, you may lose out on time with your family.  The pie chart is a useful reminder that there are a finite number of hours in the day, which leads me to number 4…

4. Make good choices with your time!

• Choose to spend time on activities you ENJOY or that give you a sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT. This is a quick and easy way to boost your mood.
• Create more free time by dropping unnecessary activities. Even just a few hours helps a lot!
• Learn to say no! Quit doing things out of guilt or false sense of obligation.
• Schedule “ME” time for fun and relaxation. Whether it’s 20 minutes per day, or one evening per week, time away from your family is something you’re doing FOR your family.  Trust me that you will be a better mom if you take care of yourself!

Your time is precious! If you don’t treat it that way, no one else will.